My Wants for My Children

Piano lessons
Soccer practice
drama rehersals
dance recitals
swimming lessons
tieing shoes
riding a bike
tree houses
summer sleep overs
camping trips with sleeping bags and tents
A little boy plays catch with his dog.
A little girl takes a bow.
Momma takes a walk in the pouring down rain.
Daddy washes the car.
Beautiful poetry makes up a family.
Oh how I wish,
Oh how I wish...

If I Was a Mom

If I had a daughter -

I would get her swim lessons, piano lessons, acting lessons, dance lessons and even horseback riding lessons.

I might even let her play soft ball, soccer on a co-ed team, volley ball, or run the track, or even cheer leading.

I would teach her to read and write, and science and math.  I would give her some paint and see what she might create.

I would give her the world, and then...

I would sit back and see just what she would CHOOSE to become.

If I had a son -

I would get him his first bike, a ball and a glove.  Swimming lessons, and horseback riding lessons. A tool set, a camera, and even a set of drums.

I might even let him take acting and dance classes, art and sewing lessons.

I would take him to little league, soccer practice, football tryouts and wrestling tournements.

I would teach him to read and write, and science and math.  I would give him some clay
and see what he might create.

I would give him the world, and then...

I would sit back and see just what he would CHOOSE to become.

Everything Happens For A Reason...

Growing up, I always knew I was going to be a foster parent, and I always knew I was going to adopt. After all, I was a foster kid, later adopted, and raised in a foster home for 17 years, watching all kinds of kids come and go. What a wonderful life I had growing up.

I have always wanted to be a mom. I had always planned on having a big family, hoping that I'd even have my own...

At 19, I carried my first child, Trevor for 6 glorious months. Though he only lived a very short time after he was born, he touched my heart beyond all imagination. I knew then and know today that he will never, EVER be replaced in my heart.

But, is it wrong for me to still want to have children?

I married my husband soon after my mom died, and a year later we started the foster/adopt program after we saw two little boys on a local news program. During our training process, we got a call from my brother and his wife, wondering if we were interested in adopting their second child. Probably a little soon, just so close after getting married, and still grieving over the loss of my mom, but, for selfish reasons, I couldn't say no.

Again, the waiting. It was only February. I still had til July...

It has been 19 very short, very quick months since I brought my little peanut home from the Spokane hospital where she was born.

I never knew love could be both incredibly fantastic, and incredibly frightening. Loving someone so much that you feel like you will just stop breathing if anything ever happened to them is a scary thing.

Though I always wanted a large family, after having a group of children at once, I decided, if I'm only blessed with 2 beautiful children, I'd like to have one of each... I have my baby girl, and soon, hopefully, maybe even a son.

I wonder every day what my little son would be like today, as he'd be turning 12 in March.

In my heart I'm just learning that everything happens for a reason. Maybe, just maybe he had something to do somewhere else, and I was meant to wait.

Little Boy Lost!!!

Baby Gabriel,

Tonight I am saddened by the thought of you.

I do not know you little guy, but I will carry you in my heart for always!

So painful it is to think that the woman God gave you to may have hurt you, and worse.

I am praying that you will make it home safely to the daddy who loves you and wants you so very much.

I am thinking of the families who want and wanted you so badly, that they would do anything to have you.  I don't know if they know how much pain they are putting your daddy through, or how much pain you will know by what is going on in your life.

I am saddened that the woman who promised to protect you, is the one who has hurt you.  Mommys are supposed to keep their babies safe, not pass them around like they are little dolls.

I hope and pray that you are safe and warm, and that someone that "loves" you is taking good care of you.

Be Blessed Little Boy.

                                                                  ~   ~   ~

It saddens me that an 8 month old child is passed around like he is a doll, that he is used as  bait, to make a man unhappy.  What kind of woman does this to her child?

Baby Gabriel is near another month older, and his daddy searches for him. 

A little guy taken by his mother from Arizona, to be passed around to one family, and then another. Couples who desperately long for a child to love and to protect, are getting jerked around, all the while this young mother is playing a game to get back at the man who gave her the most precious gift.  Her son.

It is believed that his mother gave him to a couple she met at a park in San Antonio Texas.  And if it can be believed, another blog states that a woman from either Wisconsin or Michigan, I can't remember which, flew to San Antonio to adopt him.  A woman claiming to be "Beth."

I hope that the people who have him, if someone does actually have him, are taking good care of him, and will know what is best for him, and give him back to his dad.  It pains me to think that this little bundle of love and life could be laying dead some where unidentifiable.  Dead at the hands of his mother.  Please, I pray... Don't let this be the case.

People, please keep your eyes open, and your ears.  You never know who you know.  You never know who may be keeping this little boy behind closed doors.

Help Baby Gabriel get home to where he belongs.

A writer needs help!!!

Someone please tell me how to write a blog!

New to us but used...

Bought a new truck today!  1997 Ford F-150 xlt short bed. Just wondering who in the heck makes a great truck like that without 4 wheel drive??? Well, jeeze, I guess Ford does.
It's all good.  It's a nice truck.  My honey, the Toyota man, is happy with it.  I guess it will get us where we need to go for now.!.

A Journal in Verse

Finally received the cover for A Journal in Verse today.
I am not as in love with it as I thought I would be. Yet, it is a very nice cover.
I am hoping that soon it will be released, and I will start seeing some sales.

A Poet's Journal has been out one year, and haven't seen much in the way of sales, but then again,
I haven't left home with any copies...  Guess the next big purchase I make will have to be 500 copies of each book, and get the ball a rollin, hit the road, and start selling on my own.

Come on people, (Poetry lovers) take a look.  It's much better than the first, but not as great as the third.

Who knows, it might be a best selling novel one day!!!

Accused

Thank God, I'm not guilty...

It has been said that in order for me to be happy and my family complete that another family had to be utterly destroyed.

I'm not going to sit here and deny that adoption does destroy many lives.  And I will not deny that some people aren't given a choice when it comes to giving up their child.  I don't know every situation.

I do know my own.

I know that I love my daughter beyond all reason.  And more than I love my daughter, I love the people who created her.  More than I love the people, I love the person who carried her to term, and "protected" her for the 9 months she was "baking."

Robert Kelly Ross - The first father and sperm donor, and dad, and uncle to "our" precious daughter Iliana Zoelie.

Ashley Nicole Bridges-Ross - The first mother and egg donor and oven and mom and auntie to "our" precious daughter Iliana Zoelie.

Yes, without them, my life would not be complete.  Yes, without adoption, their family wouldn't be utterly destroyed.  But honestly, if they had wanted her, they would have kept her.  And, if they were still together right now, another child, who is older precious Shelby, might be safe and sound with her daddy where she belongs...

So, whatever the reason I have my baby girl, I have her.  I love her, and cherish her, I give my every breath for her.  I was desperate to have her, but not desperate enough to steal her.

So whatever people think about me, the more power to you.